Discord Amidst Plenty

We are fragile. No matter how much we think we have or are, we get hurt. Often, as is wont to be described in mental health circles, those who love us, hurt us. And we in turn struggle to make sense of why that which is harmonious can be a source of pain. The equations between people can be very complicated. In being with others, we draw upon our histories, our trauma and our desire for security. There is likely even more than all this involved in the establishing of bonhomie between individuals. Harmony is difficult. Systems tend to run to attrition and increased disorder and relationships are no different. When we participate in creating space with one or more, we have no choice but to consider ourselves before anything else. Perhaps that is not such a good move.

This is because, usually unknown to us is the implicit understanding that we are each incredibly inadequate. Think about it. We know very well that we can fall grievously ill at any time, or have tremendous misfortune befall upon us. Therefore harboring the notion that we can give something to someone is quite erroneous. And when we start to believe that we can, we become primary and there is always the spectre of rejection and loss hanging over us. In that way, usually, interpersonal interactions are extremely skewed.

The resolution for such happenstance likely lies in identifying this implicit uncertainty. In that manner, we realize that whatever it is that we get is a bestowing. An important part of arriving at this realization is fully understanding that we are owed absolutely nothing. No doubt, that is very difficult to do. We expect the environment to fulfill, circumstances to bestow, others to be always comfort generating and we start to think and believe that our interactions ought to bring relief. Thus if we do not clearly see that even the slightest bit of wellbeing is also a gift, and that a lot of things can go very wrong, we sabotage everything from the very beginning.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *